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cheating

I remember the saying from my grandmother that “there are more women than men in the world”. A lot of people have used this numerical imbalance as a valid excuse for polygamy and keeping your options open. Whether this is right or wrong is open to a whole lot of discussion and analysis. The dynamics of how these things work are however, very interesting.

Some days ago, my friend told me of how her mother had sent a message to another mother saying “Ore mi, has Tola introduced any girl to you? Our Jadesola is single and even though they call us old fashioned, this is how things were done back in the day.”  She said she asked her Mum what the plan was if Akin actually had a girl… her mother’s reply was “Then, he will decide which of you he wants”

The fact that he possibly was dating somebody was not essential to the woman. I remember thinking… two mothers somewhere are scheming the ousting of one poor girl from the safety net of her relationship.

Yesterday, I saw the picture of one hot ‘chocolatey‘ looking delight of a man on my friend’s Blackberry display picture; I asked if the guy was single and that’s how the matter became long… My friend asked What I meant by single? Ehn now… is he married? or dating anybody? I asked. My friend replied, he’s not married sha but I don’t know if he’s seeing anybody *insert pause* then he adds…SERIOUSLY!  So I ask my friend to ask the guy if he’s seeing anybody, seriously or otherwise and the silly guy asked to see my picture!

I mean, how hard is it for you to tell if you have a significant other? It’s either a yes or a no, whether I’m swan or an ugly duck, should not  matter, unless he is up to some mischief. Or so I thought, until my cousin explained “No no! It is not simple like that oh! He is up for grabs until I see a ring.”

I’ve heard a lot of guys say that the fact that a lady is dating someone doesn’t mean they can’t “try their luck” and toast, then date the babe. Besides, you should not let the presence of one annoying boyfriend who doesn’t have game mess up your runs.

Babes who go all in and fight for what they want are hailed as Spartans! Above and beyond, there are more women than men and since we are in this really tight competition, we all have to work for what we can get. For all you know, your”perfect” man might just be in the arms of the “wrong” woman.

DON’T GIVE UP!

The Zimbabwean-American Tererai Trent has an unusually inspiring story. Born to impoverished parents, she was unable to attend school due to poverty. She nursed the dream for an education so much that she taught herself to read and write. Following her mother’s encouragement, Tererai wrote down her dreams, wrapped it in a scrap of tin and buried it. Unfortunately, by the time she turned eighteen, she was married with three children and no possibilities of returning to school. In 1991, delegates from Heifer International visited their village and asked every woman about their greatest dreams. This was the beginning of her success story. She moved to Oklahoma, earned her bachelor’s degree in agricultural education, and moved further to get her masters and PhD. Today, Dr. Tererai Trent runs an organisation committed to bringing rural education to communities in Africa.

Man is in a perpetual search for fulfilment. From ambitions nursed at childhood to expectations conferred by family or society, you are likely seeking or aspiring towards a goal at every phase of life. As a matter of fact, every landmark of success is an opportunity to break through new barriers, and ultimately achieve more. Think about it, is that not how it has been right from the days you aspired for good grades in school right up to the time you desired a job? You may have desired to get married only to realise that that automatically leads to the desire for children. The cycle is endless. A man will seldom achieve anything except on the premise of an expectation or, in a more contemporary language, a dream. However, the greater reality is this: not all dreams come true. We have heard of instances where people forgo a childhood fantasy or compromise with regards to a long-standing hope. It is often predicated on a number of circumstances – past failures, perceived incompetence or unavailability of resources.

The truth is, life has a way of pressuring us to settle for less; to compromise from what is desired to what is available. This happened in the case of Dr. Tererai Trent, the woman in our opening story. With an early marriage and three children, she got to a point where she no longer saw the feasibility of her dreams, but she eventually fulfilled those dreams.

Consider the story of the patriarch, Abraham. He too nursed the dream for a child. As a matter of fact, his was a God-ordained expectation. Divinely promised a son at the seemingly hopeless age of seventy-five, Abraham, now generally referred to as the father of faith, endured the burden of his dream for twenty-five years. It is safe to state categorically that he experienced moments of despair and discouragement. Little wonder the teacher in Proverbs 13:12 said, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” However, the conclusion of the story is that Isaac was born to Abraham and his wife, Sarah. He saw his desires fulfilled because he put his faith in God, who is able to bring all dreams to pass.

It was Vinoba Bhave who said, “In a world of chance, change and immutability, the fulfilment of any resolve depends on the will of the Lord.” This statement holds true today more than ever, especially in the wake of economic challenges and health crisis, amongst others. With the growing limitations that come with all the problems of our time, it will take the grace of God to achieve your dreams and goals.

Perhaps you have struggled in one area of expectation or another. It may be a desire for a better quality of life or the expectation of a promise God gave to you. Don’t give up. It will still come to pass.

This is really sad. These days, we
listen half, understand quarter,
think zero, and react double.

We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider free ways but narrower view points.

Sex sells. So we have traded brains and principles for breasts and nipples. We have traded God for religion, traded school for education and politics for leadership.

We spend more time but we have less, we buy more enjoy less,we have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences but less time.

More degrees but less common sense, more knowledge but less equity in justice, more experts but more problems,more medicine less wellness.

We drink too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch too much TV and most painful is we seldom pray.

We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our virtues, we talk too much ,love too seldom,hate too often.

We have learned how to make a living but not a life. We haven’t been living 365 days in year, but a day, 365 times. We have added years to life not life to years, we have been all the way to the moon and back, but haven’t crossed the road to help a neighbor
Today, be a better person, begin to add value, begin to be a winner, for if what you do inspires others to do more, to see more and become more, then you are champion!

WHAT THEY (MALES) WANT

UNTITLED.

DON'T WE ALL -Author Unknown.

I was parked in front of the mall wiping off my car. I had just come from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to get out of work. Coming my way from across the parking lot was what society would consider a bum. From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times that
you just don’t want to be bothered. This was one of those “don’t want to be bothered times.”

“I hope he doesn’t ask me for any money,” I
thought. He didn’t.

He came and sat on the curb in front of the bus stop but he didn’t look like he could have enough money to even ride the bus. After a few minutes he spoke.
“That’s a very pretty car,” he said.
He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly blond beard keeps more than his face warm. I said, “thanks,” and continued wiping off my car.
He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never came. As the silence between us widened something inside said, “ask him if he needs any help.” I was sure that he would say “yes” but I held true to the inner voice.

“Do you need any help?” I asked.

He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget. We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from those of higher learning and accomplishments. I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. He spoke the three words that shook me.

“Don’t we all?” he said.

I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge shotgun.

Don’t we all?

I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus fare, but enough to get a warm meal and shelter for the day.

Those three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help. Even if it’s just a compliment, you can give that.

You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all. They are waiting on you to give them what they don’t have. A different perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from daily chaos, that only you through a torn world can see.

Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe he was more than that.
Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to a soul too comfortable in themselves.
Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum, then said, “go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help.”

Don’t we all?

THE SILVER LINING….

Have you ever imagined a night without stars where only blackness ruled and no light was in sight or have you always envisioned a time where light comes face to face with darkness and overwhelms it so much so that nothing dark ever survives on earth again? Imaginations are tricky yet very powerful. It’s from our imagination that ideas are birthed and murdered at the same time. It’s from our imagination that love is nurtured and hate, structured.

Knowing what we can and should do is great but what happens when we suddenly begin to nurse the idea that we can no longer do the things we thought we could? These times always invade our lives. It’s either it invades the life of a writer who once believed he could write absolutely well but because he stopped receiving applause from the crowd, he suddenly begins to loose motivation and conclude that writing was never a part of his abilities or even the life of a singer who was convinced that her music brought hope but now decides to put her career on a stand still just because she can no longer catch any glimpse of hope.

Sometimes, what we can or must do is beyond what we feel but choosing to go ahead irrespective of how we feel is the point we all need to attain someway somehow. Our passions, dreams and aspirations are like setting out on a journey, you either encounter speed bumps on the road or some form of turbulence on the air or sea, but most times, you keep moving nonetheless until you arrive at your destination.

This piece is for you who feels you’ve come to your wits end but still can’t find that silver lining at the end of your dark cloud, it’s for you who began but gave up half way because you lost sight of the hope that once guided your path, for you who feels lost at that place of turbulence. I pray for you that your strength fails not and that your wings be not crushed even as you find your way back to soaring like the eagles. It’s never too late to be what you could have been, as long as you’re alive.

Daily Reflection 1#

Daily Reflection 1#.

I remember the saying from my grandmother that there are more women than men in the world… a lot of people have used this numerical imbalance as a valid excuse for polygamy and keeping your options open. Whether this is right or wrong is open to a whole lot of discussion and analysis. The dynamics of how these things work are however, very interesting. Some days ago, my friend told me of how her mother had sent a message to another mother saying “Sister, has Tola introduced any girl to you? Our Jadesola is single and even though they call us old fashioned, this is how things were done back in the day.”  She said she asked her Mum what the plan was if Akin actually had a girl… her mother’s reply was “Then, he will decide which of you he wants”

The fact that he possibly was dating somebody wasn’t essential to the woman. I remember thinking… two mothers somewhere are scheming the ousting of one poor girl from the safety net of her relationship.  

I saw the picture of one hot chocolatey looking delight of a man on my friend’s Blackberry display picture… I asked if the guy was single and that’s how the matter became long… What do I mean by single? Ehn now… is he married? or dating anybody? My friend says, he’s not married sha but I don’t know if he’s seeing anybody *insert pause* then he adds…SERIOUSLY!  So I ask my friend to ask the guy if he’s seeing anybody, seriously or otherwise and the silly guy asked to see my picture!

I mean, how hard is it for you to tell if you have a significant other? It’s either a yes or a no, whether I’m beauty or the beast, shouldn’t matter, unless of course, he’s up to some mischief… Or so I thought, until my cousin said “No oh! It’s not simple like that oh! He’s fair game until I see a ring.” I’ve heard guys also say that the fact that a lady is dating someone doesn’t mean they can’t “enter set” and toast then, date the babe. Besides, you can’t let the presence of one pesky boyfriend who doesn’t have game mess up your runs.

Babes who go all in and fight for what they want are hailed as Spartans! Above and beyond, there are more women than men and since we’re in this really tight competition, we all have to work for what we can get. For all you know, your”perfect” man might just be in the arms of the “wrong” woman.